Fix My Love Life

Well, the old email bag was empty(come on guys! You’ve got to want me to fix some little aspect of your love life, right? ), so I’ve decided to delve a little deeper into what I think is one of the most important parts of any sexual relationship: The Kiss.

People kiss in many different ways. Passionate kisses, friendly kisses, playful kisses, all these variations depend on the moods and relationships between people. A swift kiss before leaving for work in the morning is very different from the longer kiss that precedes a night of passion. Kissing is fun most of the times and people whom you wouldn’t like to kiss can usually be kept at a distance. This is an act of intimacy that is not easily forced upon somebody.

The best known type of kiss is the French kiss. You can see it in every movie (and that’s all they do in Soap Opera’s, practically!)and is probably used by the largest part of young and adult lovers around the world. French kiss means that the two partners kiss with open lips and their tongues touch. I’m not sure if the French have actually been the first to kiss like that, but let’s say the name is a tribute to the city of lovers, Paris. The two partners can use their tongues to explore each other’s mouths. This is actually up to the imagination of the two people involved, since there are far too many ways in which the play of tongues can underscore tenderness and passion.

A good one is the kiss that is meant to surprise and to convey intensity, rather than tenderness. When your lover is working, sleeping or generally absorbed by something, plant a quick kiss on her lips by surprise. Be careful not to spoil the surprise. Kiss her hard (or light) and fast to show her that you love her and that you are in a playful mood. Afterwards you can choose between retreating and leaving her to her business or going for more kisses. A break from work has never hurt anybody.

Another kind of kiss much favored by passionate lovers focuses on the lips instead of the inside of the mouth. This is very much a kiss designed to convey a strong sense of passion and a lack of inhibitions. The basic idea is to suck gently on one of your partner’s lips. Since she is likely to have her mouth slightly open in expectation of a French kiss, this can be easily accomplished. Just pick one of the lips and suck gently on it for a second or two. Make sure you are very gentle about it because injuries are no fun.

A variation of the kiss described above is meant to add yet another twist to the passion that unfolds between you and her. While sucking on your lover’s lip, use your teeth to bite her lip very gently. Just nip on it, don’t go for a full fledged bite. This type kiss should be used by lovers who have kissed before. It’s not exactly the kind of thing one does on the first date.

The important thing to remember is to never be afraid of experimenting with your lover. Show your lover your passion and tenderness. Sincere and passionate kisses are among the best things in life.

For More Great Kissing Tips, try these two awesome sites:
Sex Advice
Men’s Network

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Dear FMLL, I’m 18 years old and never been kissed. Or actually kissed anyone.(Yeah, I know. What can I say? I’m very shy) I’ve been flirting with this super cute girl at school, and I know she likes me as much as I like her. We’ve done “group dates” (a bunch of us go to the movies, you know stuff like that), but on Friday, we are having our first, official, JUST US date. I’m excited, but nervous. I know I want to kiss her (at least a good night kiss), but I’ve never kissed anyone before. Help!

Aahh. Young love. Is there anything more exciting than your first love? I don’t think so. Is there anything more frightening than your first kiss….not a whole lot comes to mind. You want everything to be perfect, romantic, etc. So, here are some Do’s and Don’ts about kissing:

Number 1: Make sure she really is ready for your first kiss

Is the girl willing to go along with this or not? If you’re about to make your approach and the girl gets an embarrassed look on her face and starts fidgeting in her chair in what may be seen as an evasive maneuver, then pull back and give her some breathing space. Don’t rush things because you’re going to regret it.

Number 2: A French Kiss should never be the FIRST KISS

First thing you need to know is that French kisses are not meant for the first date, unless, of course, the girl is quite the party animal and you both know that your date has only one purpose. In that case, anything goes if you can get away with it; even sex in the restaurant’s lavatory. Or if the girl is so clearly willing that there can be no mistake about it. But in all other cases, save French kissing either for the end of the date or for another date.

Number 3: What A Girl Wants…

Two things that girls hate is to have guys shoving their tongues down their throats and to have their oxygen supply cut off during kissing. Therefore, you need to take care that you leave the girl enough room to breathe or to break the kiss every now and then. This will also help you, because you also need the oxygen. Two people kissing are sharing an intimate moment, not engaging in an endurance test or in a race to the death.

When actually going for the kiss, don’t charge with your tongue sticking out or your mouth. This can gross out even the hardcore promiscuous people. Put your lips against hers and only then let your tongue come out to play. And don’t stab her mouth with your tongue. Keep your cool and read her emotions. If she wants more passion or a little rough play, then go ahead and do what you think best. If not, then keep your tongue to yourself.

On the other hand, if both you and your partner find yourselves exhausted by a prolonged session of passionate kissing, then you are on the right path. It means that she enjoys your kisses and that she probably doesn’t mind going even further. Just remember to refrain from rushing things. The slow path is sometimes best.

Number 4: There is no such thing as too much knowledge

The fact that you are asking for advice definitely shows that you want to make The First Kiss as special for her as it will be for you, and there are tons of guides out there to help you learn about that first kiss and more. Try these links for tips and advice that will make you the kind of boyfriend all girls dream about:
Sex Advice For Men
Men’s Network

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Dear FMLL: My girlfriend read in a magazine that Sting was a master of “Tantric Sex”. She seemed pretty impressed, but I have no idea what that phrase even means! What is Tantra? If I learn it, will I become a better lover for her?

This is an excellent question and good for you for asking it! Men and women living in Western Europe and North America are fascinated with foreign cultures, beliefs and traditions because they are so different from their own.

The wave of philosophies coming from the Far East has caught the interest of Western people and chief among them are Yoga, Buddhism and Tantra. From the Middle East, the Western world has taken the Kabala movement and a lot of Arab architecture influences, while the African continent gave us sculpture and painting.

In this article we are going to see what Tantra is and why so many people are interested in this ancient and exotic practice that is so far removed from the Western ideas.

The early form of what is known today as Tantra was a group of esoteric practices that had more to do with rituals and special ways of doing things than with a stand-alone religion. One could say that Tantra is a different technique for reaching spiritual enlightenment and self-realization. This is, of course, the ultimate goal of Buddhist, Yoga and Hindu traditions, but Tantra aims to offer its own path by using different practices. However, over the years Tantra has garnered a dubious reputation both in the Eastern and Western worlds because of the incorporation and use of sex.

Contrary to what many people think, Tantra is not just one well-defined tradition, but simply an umbrella term for several esoteric traditions whose origins go back in time a long way. In its various forms, Tantra has spread across India, China, Japan, Tibet, Nepal, Pakistan, Korea, Cambodia and Indonesia. In these lands, the Tantric principles were taken from their context and incorporated into the local customs and modified to suit the tastes and needs of each new group of practitioners. The Tantra myths themselves offer no clues to their origins, since they tend to focus on the usual mythical explanations.

Basically, the ritual sex is meant to reenact the creation of the universe, which came from the primordial intercourse between the gods Shiva and Shakti. The sexual embrace is supposed to bring the individuals to the level of gods and allow them to put aside their individuality for a while and become one with the divine consciousness that fills the universe. Since those who practice Tantra believe that everything in the universe is a manifestation of the divine, it follows that sex, too, is a step on the path to master body and mind. The entire ritual is supervised by a guru, whose presence is considered to be crucial to the success of the two individuals who attempt it.

Most people who have heard of Tantra see it as a way of getting more pleasure out of sex and never bother to look beyond the obvious. In a similar manner, many people practice Yoga as a way of flexing the muscles and fail to understand the deeper meaning and purpose of Yoga. The sexual rituals promoted by the Tantra gurus focus not on reaching orgasm, but on opening the soul to the experience of infinite awareness. These rituals are only meant for those that can separate themselves from this world and move beyond the basic emotions associated with sex. Thus, sexual pleasure has no place in the Tantric practices.

So, as you can see, Tantra is not the way to become a better lover in the bedroom, but more of a religious concept, meant to open a way to spiritual awakening, not sexual awakening. If you aren’t looking to connect with “God” in the bedroom, and are more interested in becoming a “God” in the bedroom, check out this great site for awesome love advice!

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